The Queen is set to host incoming President Donald Trump for a formal summit next year, with discussions centring on questions of interior decor.
The Queen is to offer advice to Mr Trump on his number one priority for his first 100 days in office: “blinging up the White House”
A Palace spokesman said: “Her Majesty’s style is to cover all surfaces with either gold or with pictures of herself and her relatives.
“Mr Trump apparently sees her as a great inspiration.”
The Duke of Edinburgh will attend the meetings, advising the new President on the correct racial epithets to use against varying national populations on official trips.
The President Elect praised Queen Elizabeth on Twitter, writing:
“Howsabout that Queen? Gold house, gold clothes, gold hat. There’s a lady with style! What is protocol on where you can grab a Queen?”
Mr Trump’s advisers indicated that the Queen would be advising the President on two other key issues:
1) how to retain affection among working people despite decorating your house at their expense while literally wearing a crown; and
2) where to buy a crown.